Monday, November 30, 2009

Introducing.....Team S&D!!

hahah spent friday evening at the studio fooling around with sabrina. it was alot of fun. after i got her loving jerry's new style class, we finally finished one choreo together ^^ so we decided to record it and make our own 1st video!! well, here's the result~~

i'm totally loving this video haha!!
Team S&D rock~~!! ^^

Thursday, November 26, 2009

dance styles..

i've been going to urban groove dance studio for some time now, and i used the unlimited package for a month to try out the different styles of street dances they offer there. i tried a bit of hip hop, popping, locking, breaking, girl style, new style, house, new jack swing, i missing anything here? there is whacking, krumping, all those animation & tricks stuff that go along with popping, and the many things that go along with breaking too. i haven't tried those out, but i need more time i think.

playing around taking different styles is fine, but i find i'm beginning to get confused with the different styles that i'm learning. since i take 3-4classes per day, everyday, by the end of the day, i cant remember what i learned in each class, let along what i'm supposed to remember by the end of the week.

i think it's better to prioritize. find what u love, what ur good at, and focus on that style first. make it ur strong point.

i know they always encourage girl style for girls, because i think this style would come more naturally. but for me, i think i'd rather stick with other styles, more guy-ish styles, u know...that looks more cool, rather than sexy. technically house does not fall into this category, but right now, i'm so in love with it! there's just something so addictive about the fast pace of house music, and i find i'm actually spending the time to research on it. maybe its not as glamorous as the other styles, but i can live with that. hmm...why dont u have a look at watch house dance looks like and make ur own opinion? =)

Friday, November 20, 2009


as I cleaned up for the night, as I always do, my routine of brushing my teeth and washing my face before hitting the sack, I catch a familiar scent. It was a soap, my mom bought awhile back from a convenience store. A hand soap. Honey and milk extracts. But the memories brought forth by this scent are not of a good kind.

It is the scent I remember from the toilets of the hospital room that I stayed in. And when I stayed in the hospital, it stretched for days. Usually more than a week. I remember restless nights, where I strayed into the hospital corridors, trying to find solace. I couldnt sleep. The assault on my kidneys left me weak, and yet I yearn for the outdoors. I need activity. I felt so trapped then, caged behind unlocked doors, unable to leave this captivity created only by my weakness.

I could barely walk, but every few minutes I would rush to the toilet. It was either due to diarrhoea or to vomit. I understand now why the doctors were concerned about hydration. I couldnt keep anything in. And there I was vehemently refusing a drip. I couldnt sleep with one, it agitated me so. I caused so much pain for my parents, as they begged me to cooperate. What is it with being sick that we start thinking irrationally?

Now that I look back, my months in the hospital were full of mistakes, full of irrational decisions. I do not fear death, I fear only pain. I wonder why the mind of mankind can be so weak, so fragile, so easily influenced by other factors. Will this never change? Is it really a part of life on Earth?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Korean Day out~

Our wonderful sonsengnim, Dr.Kim of FPSK, decided to treat us to a halal korean lunch at bintang walk, starhill gallery.

The restaurant name = KoRyo-Won

Number of people at the lunch = 11

Bill estimation = rm300++

We had a blast and the place was beautiful. And after the meal, we walked across the street to Pavillion to enjoy the christmas decorations there. We also decided to take a bunch of pictures like the bunch of idiot tourists that we are =)

at the UG Groove Session Party~~

some of the photos i took at UG's party....

jessie hehe~

guest judge

the contestants gathered around

joel beginning the session

all smiles from silvya, sabrina jiang and me

amar and han jon testing the dance floor

kiat grooving to the music

sabrina and me

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

and the dust that covers my dear diary..

i swore not to open that chapter in my life again. i didnt want to feel the pain. how is it that this is a totally different situation with totally different people and yet i feel the exact same feelings mounting up inside me...the same crushing force, that i thought once and for all has left me alone.

i am only tormenting myself. and in that sense i am torturing other needlessly. because of my pain. because of my past mistakes. will it always be this way? will i never truly be free from these chains that bind me? i feel suffocated. and yet any attempts from frens to relieve the situation just ends up backfiring on me. its not their fault. they never knew the true situation.

shall i tell them then? would it make a difference if people knew? would it relieve me? no...i dont think so. i guess, things dont change unless you make that change. and i have yet to find the strength for change. oh how i wish to go back to those days when i can be naive and get away with it.. back before the first time i was heartbroken.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

cloudy skies with a little bit of rain

i feel so down these days. I try not to take things personally. I wanna be professional about it and move on. We can be friends. Its just a personal hurdle I have to go through. I have to live with it. I have to buck up and face my fears.

But when I look at you, all that fear comes flooding back in. I dont wanna make this same mistake again. I hope you understand, its not about you. The fear lies within me. And someday I will find the courage to face you again. If you can wait that long, then maybe someday we can talk and look back on this day and laugh about it.

Couple dance workshop!!

hehe today was the day of the couple dance workshop!
it was alot of fun!! It was my first dance workshop. I've never been to one before. I'm glad I came =) it would be such a waste to have missed this.

taught by Jerry and Doris at Sunway Branch Urban Groove.

the song was (Jason Mraz + Colbie Caillat) 'Lucky'. Haha i didnt know u can choreo for a song like this. =p
Not very good at remembering steps though, haha cos we were all rushing through the steps. =)
at least we all enjoyed it. thats wat matters right?
I have the video, but I havent uploaded it yet. I dont want to upload it on youtube, since its not really mine...
but it'll definitely be in my facebook videos, once facebook stops being so mean, and let me upload it haha!

Too bad for you people who didnt wanna join, because it was a great experience!

Monday, November 2, 2009

In my memories...

the empty tank

Alan is gone...My dear soft shelled turtle friend.

My brother decided it was finally time to set him free into the pond near his workplace. I know Alan is not a domestic pet, and the fact that we kept him in a tank is practically animal cruelty (we werent in any way cruel, except I do admit his natural habitat would probably be a gazillion times larger).

We've been with Alan for so long...its been years I think. At least 2-3years, since before I moved to Putrajaya. He was smaller then. He didn't know me well at first.

But this year I spend so much time with him. He watches me every night as I study at the dining room table. He splashes around when I dance with him. when i touch his tank, he would always bite around, with his cute (but dangerous) mouth. I love the way he is so cute and still when he's asleep and u can see his eyes close n head drop slowly.

Ahh he loves apples. I try to make him more carnivorous like me, but he doesnt really like eating the fish. Oh my sweet, how are u surviving out there in the wildlife?

I miss you so much already.

I cant believe we have no pictures of him. No recorded videos. How am I to remember him? I found pictures off the net, of soft shelled turtles....they dont look as cute as Alan, but u get the gist of it.

he was about this a carls jr burger

from above, this is what he looks like. But he was not this color.

Now that he's gone, when I sit at the table and look to my side, all I see are still fish (the ones he wont eat), in a huge empty tank.

Its so quiet in this house without you. Alan.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Party party party~~

oh yeah oh yeah~~ can u believe it? there's gonna be a party this coming saturday. I'm totally going!

there is also on-going free styling competition at the party. i wont join la...obviously because i'm soooo uptight! i cant possibly loosen up enough to dance in front of a bunch of other dancers...i cant even loosen up enough to dance in front of a bunch of non-dancer at a club. hahaha! i'm that bad!

well anyways, of course there will be performances from the teachers. i always love to see the teachers perform. they are sooo good!

oh not forgetting, this friday, there is a couple dance workshop. me and adek are going of course. i was wondering if i should not go, since i'm going so many things already, but she convinced me to take this opportunity. well it doesnt come often right?

First 2/3 of exams are done and only 2 papers left around mid-november. so that means, i still got time to play around haha. gonna sleep late and surf the net?? or i think better yet, get as much needed sleep as possible while i got the time. sunday is my rest day. monday-saturday next week i'm going to dance all week long! its gonna be a long and tiring week but a damned great one for sure!

Its only saturday night, and already i'm hyperventilating thinking about the week to come =)

Friday, October 30, 2009

Pop! Baby~~

this week i've come to UG alot more often than orginally planned. You see, this week my exam started and i was supposed to slow down my extra-curricular activities =) but i couldnt help it.

Dance class is so invigorating. Even though I'm stressed from exams, even though I'm so tired from all the studying.

Monday i went to bBoy freezes and House dance class. My leg was in pain on tuesday, so i laid off it. Wednesday i came again for bBoy freezes, followed by locking and new style. This week i met new girl in class. Her name is Sabrina, and she is from China. She's very nice and talkative and sweet girl. =) I will get a picture of her next post

We talked alot and decided to go UG groove session party together next saturday. it will be a blast! I wanna take lotsa pictures with everyone!!

Btw today (thursday) I decided to go with adek to UG. We went for girl style foundation, popping and then hip hop. I knew Joel taught popping on this day, and I wasnt really keen to go since I'm not a good popper. But i went with adek anyway.
Turns out I'm not as bad as i used to be. least I was keeping up with the (very beginner's) class.
And when we were about to leave, and i bravely said bye to (the very intimidating) Joel, he said i should come to his new style class on saturday. Haha i've long wanted to go, i was just afraid of him =p
well, now i can go, rest-assured. ^^

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

A look back

Today first day of exam...didnt do splendidly well, but didnt study enuf also, so i'm not complaining.

I actually do not want to burden my SLE at this stressful time. Just in case got some weirdo come read this and not understand, SLE is systemic lupus erythematosus, which is a disease of the immune system. In AIDS, immune system too low, u can die from normal infection, like the common cold. In SLE, immune system too high, my body starts attacking itself. In my case, my kidneys...
its a chronic disease, means i'm on medication for life, sometimes its under ctrl, sometimes it might get worse, and likely will die from it =( but we all die in the end wat..

I read some girl who has SLE kidneys too, within 12years she developed end stage renal failure. it means her kidneys are too damaged to work anymore. she's on dialysis 3x a week. i wonder how she controlled her disease. i wonder if dancing will aggravate it...i wonder if i can be healthier..

i cannot say i never complained about my disease before, but i think i took it pretty well. during the months that i was bed-ridden and sick, i didnt cry...except for that one day, when i was thinking that i will never dance again. somehow that really hit me hard in the stomach. all my life i really loved to dance. i promised myself i will go to dance studio, i will learn better, i will make more dance frens...but i always put it off...due to school life, work, priorities, etc.
and suddenly this came my way.

after i got sick, i vowed if i ever got better, i'm taking every opportunity i have to go for dancing. i will enroll at UG, i will go to classes, i will dance again.

and i'm happy to say, that is what i have been doing this past 2months. and i am happy. =)

so what if i got SLE? mayb this is just God's way of telling me to slow down, and find what really makes me happy in life.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Hottest Hunks in Malaysia 09/10 part3

After the party~~ So hungry then eat at Station 1 across the streets. Actually many hunks also went there to celebrate, but i wasnt gonna be caught dead snapping their photos while they're eating ^^

Profile view hehe~~ Such a stalker pix

Kaileng eat my dry asam mee!!

This is wat I look like when i'm quiet and daydreaming....abt?.... =)
Iced chocolate anyone??

Look at her alcohol!! haha no was some sort of foamy tea hehe.

Hottest Hunks in Malaysia 09/10 part2

This is the stage after the show...pretty spooky

Me and kai leng always out looking for fun =p

The top12. I love this picture yea =)

This guy we thought was cute, so i snapped a pix of him. He made it thru too hehe.

Joel is one of the winners! ^^


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